Saturday, October 25, 2008

Me Time

This has been a tumultuous year for me. After a good 06 and fantastic 07, my business suffered severe setbacks this year. Coz of that, I've been unable to make it for training consistently.

For those few times that I managed to attend, I really enjoyed the training despite some confusion due to me missing too many classes. It's the one thing I look forward to when I felt down from my business turmoil. Hmmm... perhaps I like to beat people to de-stress, or get beaten in return. Lol...

This is also the year Vince introduced to us many elements of MMA (kicks, clinches, takedowns, grappling, submissions, ground & pound etc). I absorbed some techniques (eg. passing the guard MMA style, basic clinch) like a sponge and yet failed to register some seemingly easy techniques (sprawl, basic low kicks, throws from clinch, breaking the half guard into submission etc).

There are times I contemplated stopping for good. I gave myself many reasons not to continue something I've been doing since the last 7 years. I told myself I'm too old for this shit, too clumsy and slow, this is not a priority in my life, my business is in a mess, I got a growing daughter to take care etc etc. I even said to myself that grown men mutually bashing one another for an hour is not healthy for my spiritual development and bearings. I got so demotivated that sometimes I just let time pass beyond 8pm to gave myself an excuse to skip training.

It has gotten to a point where I told myself I'll sign up a fitness center because I can workout anytime I like and to find something more "suitable" for my age, like Tai Chi, Chi Gung or Aikido, the latter being more appealing to me having so many friends into it. But I did not act on any of these. I'm still busy with work.

Then on Wed night, the guys asked me if I'll be more free now that I've released my company and will be going back to a regular working life. They asked me come to open mats on Sat. I was reluctant to answer because I knew there are many other things to do on Sat even if I don't work. My coach and old buddy Vince looked me in the eyes and said candidly, "Hey, look at it as some ME time... ME... get it?"

All of sudden, a realisation came to me. Why have I been so edgy this year, it's because I was derived of ME TIME. The Crazy Monkey Defense Program in KDTA has always been my favourite pastime. I have been neglecting my "hobby" for too long, hence no proper R&R. Of course there are other martial arts or sports I can do but this is me, full contact combat sports has always been my cup of tea. And the camaraderie in the gym is awesome, call it Brotherhood of Gloves. ;)

Guess I'll keep on this road till my tyres are punctured or worn out.